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Showing posts from 2011

On the 9th Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

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I know, traditionally the  12 days of Christmas  are celebrated starting Christmas day until  Epiphany  in January but I liked the idea of celebrating it leading up to Christmas.  I got the idea from a  blog I read pretty regularly.  The main point is to just bless your husband in some way on each of the 12 days leading up to or after Christmas.  I must tell you that this has been so much fun for me and by day 6 I could really tell he was enjoying it too, wondering what he would be getting each new day.  I didn't spend much money at all, as a matter of fact most of the things would have been stocking stuffers, and I just had to get creative with some of the other days, but it has been so fun to give him a little something everyday relating to the number of the day.  So, here is what he has gotten so far: Day 1 - Love and Respect book (he had asked for for his birthday) Day 2 - gloves Day 3 - 3 chocolate bars Day 4 - 1 box of poptarts has 4 packs in it.  A yummy treat! D

The Dark Days

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Photo Credit As I write this I am not sure why I am writing it, except to let my feelings out and possibly help others who are on this path behind us, which I guess is why I started this blog in the first place.  So, if you are one of those who have been asked, no, forced (because we had no choice in losing our loved one), to walk this valley, these are some emotions that you most likely will encounter... And if you are reading this just to hear how we are doing, thank you for understanding our roller coaster emotions. Somedays I just need to cry.  Somedays the emotions are so overwhelming I don't want to get out of bed.  If not for Lucy there are days I am certain I would have stayed in bed.  Crying, sleeping, trying to make the real world go away, feeling sorry for myself and dwelling on my little one taken from me, wishing she were in my arms again.   I'm sure many of you know what I am talking about. November 19 marked 3 months without Aimee, November 21 was my b

What I Did Today

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Opening a pair of pajamas on Christmas Eve is a tradition we grew up with and continue with Lucy.  This year as I was going through some clothes my mom was getting rid of I noticed this great Christmas shirt (thanks Auntie Brig!).  My mom gave me the idea to make Lucy some Christmas pants out of it.  What a great idea!  Thanks Mom!  I not only made it into pants but there was even enough to make an entire top too. As I was figuring out how to make her jammies Lucy was playing dress up and hanging out with Violet.  It is so nice to have a little girl who will entertain herself... for awhile! This is what I started with. First, I cut out the sleeves to make the pants.  If making infant pants you can use the bodice of the shirt but my Lucy has too long of legs!  I used a pair of pants that are a bit big for her right now as a pattern since I want her to wear them for awhile.  Also, using the sleeves meant I didn't have to hem the pants. :) After I

As If It Were All A Dream

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Because of a generous gift given to us by some friends, Matt and I were able to take a little trip to Victoria a couple weekends ago.  It was a great getaway and gave us time to reflect and discuss how we are doing and healing. While talking with Matt I was surprised to hear that we both are emotionally in the same place.  It feels like it was all a dream, almost like I wasn't just pregnant for 9 months, almost like I never held our beautiful girl in my arms.  It's an odd feeling.  Not one either of us really enjoy.  We don't want the constant pain but are having a hard time accepting that many days there isn't any pain.  We aren't forgetting our little Aimee, by no means will we ever forget her!  We have reminders of her all over the house, the rose bush out front, the hydrangea in the back, Lucy's 'Aimee bear' that a friend gave her to help her through,  all of Aimee's stuff, her hat, book, necklace and so many sympathy cards still sitting on my

2 Months

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Today marks what should have been Aimee's 2 month birthday.  Our family should be just getting down the routine of a newborn.  We should be exhausted from not enough sleep.  Lucy should be rocking and cuddling with her baby sister instead of her doll.  And we should be taking her to the doctor to see how much she has grown since the day she was born.  Instead we are sleeping through the night and going through our day just like we always do.  Does it hurt to think about what might have been?  Yes, badly.  Is it good for me to think about what might have been?  Yes, because it helps me remember Aimee.  Not that I will ever forget her but sometimes it can start to feel like it was all a dream.  Like I never had another baby that I got to hold in my arms.  Like I haven't just gone through 9 months of pregnancy (although, I can look at my body and tell that this isn't so).  I thank God for the healing that has already begun to take place but it does my soul good to sit and t

Infant Loss Remembrance Day

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In observation of Infant Loss Remembrance Day (I bet most of you never knew there was such a thing, neither did I until I became one who lost an infant) I post Aimee's story for you to read.  Over time I hope to add more (especially pictures) but for now it is a simple telling of Aimee's life. I also participated in Kirsten Petermann's sweet memorial to all our little ones by giving her Aimee's name to be said among the many others in her Say Their Name memorial. Now I would like to take this opportunity to thank so many of you for your prayers, support, meals, cards, flowers, listening ears, shoulders to cry on and, often times, with.  You all have been such a blessing to us.  Gifts from God to keep us strong and learn to rely more and more on Him.  He is always good and even when we may not like the road He is bringing us down, there is a sense of peace that comes with trusting Him and knowing that we will be able to see our little Aimee again someday.  I ofte

something new

Well, here it goes... I am not much of a writer but after reading other blogs by other ladies I feel this might be a small way to help my heart continue to heal. I don't know that I will have much to say but I know some people, who have not been through this journey with us, are curious as to what happened with our little Aimee. Also, it will be a place for me to post pictures so you all can see her (if I can figure out how to do that)!