Monday, October 15, 2012

Remembrance Day 2012

As if we could ever or would ever forget.  Once again it is Infant Loss Remembrance Day.  I don't have much or anything profound to say.  Just taking time to remember holding my precious girl for the few hours we got to have her.  As I feel this new little one growing inside of me and moving around and around I remember how hard little Aimee could kick and how social she was.  She would start moving even more when others would touch my belly!  It was almost as if she knew it would be her only chance to communicate with most of them on this earth.  I remember seeing her eyes open and close during her last ultrasound, savoring the moment with tears in my eyes knowing that it would probably be the only time we ever saw her do that, and it was.   What a precious moment to have been able to see and one I will treasure always.

We love you Aimee and can't wait to be with you someday!!
Aimee's birth day.

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Baby Update

I know many of you are waiting to hear!  Sorry it has been a couple days but you understand how the schedule is right now; CRAZY!!

Cute little feet!

First things first, baby is doing very well.  They have all their fingers and toes that were opening and closing!  Hooray!  (As some of you know, this was another of the first signs that things weren't quite right for little Aimee.)  More importantly their heart is pumping and forming correctly and their brain is looking good!

One minor thing that the doctor, of course, said not to worry about is a tiny cyst on baby's brain.  He said they see this in a large number of the babies now due to how detailed technology is these days and that many adults even have them and would never know.  Still, it's something to be praying stays small and doesn't become more than it is.

We did NOT find out whether baby is a boy or girl and baby was so funny because it held it's legs together the whole time so even if we had wanted to find out it would have taken quite a bit of searching and moving.

Thank you so much for your prayers for our day.  I didn't feel really anxious as I had thought I might but I did feel a huge sense of relief when I saw the heart beating as it should!  We would appreciate your continued prayers for this little one, especially that the cyst stays tiny and nothing!

Baby Greene!  boy or girl?  Hmm...

I will proclaim the name of the LORD. Oh, praise the greatness of our God!
Deuteronomy 32:3

Lucy, Matt and I are pretty convinced it's a girl but there are a lot of others thinking we have a boy, go ahead, chime in... what do you think?  

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Thank You!

I think that one of the most difficult parts of having to say "good-bye" to someone you love is all of the decisions that go with it.  Not only are there so many that you have to think about and make but every one of them tends to be a reminder of the pain and loss all over again.  So, we delayed.  I wanted to have a nameplate picked out and in place right away but we just couldn't do it.  None of the standard stones were what I had been hoping for and trying to figure it all out was proving to be too difficult.  So we set a goal.  Our goal was to have Aimee's stone in place by her birthday.

July 2012 came quickly and Matt and I realized we still hadn't ordered it or even decided what we wanted.  So back to the cemetery (with more decisions to make) we went.  We met with a wonderful woman who told us we don't have to just stick with the standard pre-molds, there were a number of other options to put together.  We knew our goal timeline was coming close so we gave ourselves one night to think on the design we had picked out after an hour or so of looking through the book and in no time it was done and in place.  The same lady who helped us plan what we wanted also placed the stone and was so excited to call and tell us how beautiful it looked.  Just in time for her birthday!

Isn't is beautiful?  It is exactly as I had imagined and I am so happy with it.

We also really want to thank our Lifegroup family for the amazing monetary gift you gave us that actually bought it!  You are a part of this.  Thank you for all of your love and support and help.  We love you guys so much!

And so, now it is finished.  There are no more decisions to make.  No more, questions about where, what, when, how.  All is decided and done.  Except of course, when we will get to meet our beautiful Aimee face to face and know her for the amazing girl she is.  What an amazing day that will be!!  Praise the LORD!

Friday, September 7, 2012

Happy Birthday to Our Girls!

Lucy listening to her birthday song. 
August 19th, 2012, Lucy turned 3 years old!  WOW!  I can't believe what a big girl she is now.

As you know, August 19th is also Aimee's birthday.  Yes, a bittersweet day indeed.  We were anticipating a lot of emotions and not quite sure how the day was going to go so we purposefully planned the party for the 19th thinking that having friends and family around on the day would be great distractions.

However, as I have mentioned before, sometimes the emotions catch us off guard.  On Saturday I was having a bad day and noticed Matt was too.  It wasn't until a friend of mine called asking how we were doing that I finally broke down and just cried on the phone to her.  She gave me some good advice and told me to let the emotions come so that the next day the worst of them would hopefully be over and we could enjoy a fun party.  So, I did.  I cried myself to sleep on Matt's chest and believe it or not it did help!

Honoring Aimee at the party!
The next day was the party.  It was wonderful!  I think about 30 people showed up (about 20 of them are family, but still a lot of people).  And everyone had a wonderful time with only a slight struggle with emotions on my part.  Lucy got to blow out her 3 candles and one on her cake for Aimee too.  We had talked about this earlier and she thought it was a great idea.

Lucy opening garden lights for herself and Aimee.
We are so glad that so many were there to make the day special and fun for Lucy.  She is still talking about what a fun day she had!

After everyone went home that night we tried to light off a sky lantern in honor of Aimee but they weren't going over too well so we only got one off and barely!  And unfortunately, no good pictures of it.  Maybe I will be able to find some smaller ones for next year...  But here are some other fun pictures.
Lucy's cool birthday cupcakes, brownie and jell-o made by Mam'ma.  

Having a blast!

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Coming February 2013

Yes, it's true.  We are expecting another little one February 2013.  Please pray for us as our nerves and emotions will most likely be on edge until the midpoint when we learn that, God willing, the baby is healthy and strong.

Lucy's reaction: she insists there are 2!  And she wore purple pants this morning because, "the baby will like them."

Currently feeling awful and can't wait to get past the first couple of months.  What worked for you and morning sickness?

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

HELP! Triple Chocolate Chunk Muffins, and they can be GF!

no, I am not a photographer... I guess I should pin that site on how to take
pictures of food! :)
Pinterest is one of the most addicting sites I think I have EVER come across!  I LOVE all the ideas I can get from it but found I spent a LOT of time on it.  I was inspired by a friend that told me she has to "earn" her time on it.  So, I thought that would be a great thing for me to do too.  I have to "earn" my time on it by doing at least 2 pins a week!  I was excited about Valentine's Day and used a couple of ideas making our breakfast look like this:
Here Lucy is showing you her heart shaped bacon!

And I made this for dessert that night.  It was GREAT!  
Butterfinger Pie 

Anyway, that is NOT what this post is about.  A few days ago we had some friends coming over for lunch and I wanted to make a good "healthier" dessert so I tried to make this:
Triple Chocolate Chunk Muffin
I was so excited that they were healthier than most chocolate muffins and I realized after reading the ingredients that it can easily be a GF recipe, yes, that's right, a gluten free recipe if you are sure to buy certified GF oats.  Then I read the directions and found that I blend the whole thing!  BLEND THE WHOLE THING!  How easy is that?  My kind of baking!!  At this point I was VERY excited to try them.  Well, all seemed to be going well until I got to the add 1 cup of hot water at the very end... wow! that sure made them liquidy.  Then it said to stir in half the chocolate chips??? I knew right away that was a big FAIL since they would all fall to the bottom.   Anyway, they came out looking like this:

The good thing is they tasted wonderful!  Spongy and moist, but totally caved in!  Luckily, my friends didn't care so much about the looks of it since they tasted so good.  But still...

So, to the point.  What did I do wrong?  As many of you know I am fairly new to baking and MUST follow a recipe (you will not see any recipes made by me on Pinterest anytime soon) so I need help in fixing recipes sometimes.  I am wondering if I should have omitted the water or maybe just put 1/2 cup of the water in?  What do you think?  I would really like to make these again but would also like them to be prettier. :)  Thanks in advance for all of you help!  Please comment below so I can try your suggestions next time!

Monday, March 5, 2012

"Mommy, Where's Baby Aimee?"

The question came unexpectedly on a drive home from making Christmas cookies at Lucy's Aunt Noonie's house. (Yes, it has been awhile since I have written).  So shocked by the question I asked her what she said to be sure I heard her correctly.

With more emphasis this time, "Mommy, where is your baby Aimee?"

I thought hard about what my response would and could and should be.  Lucy knows it, "she's in heaven with Jesus."  We had talked about it often, both before Aimee was born, to prepare her for when we came home without a baby, and in the many talks since we have been home.  She often tells me how she wants to go to heaven to see baby Aimee and Jesus.  "Not until it's your turn."  I tell her.  "Let's not rush it!" This time it was as if she was asking for more, as if she was really trying to understand why Aimee didn't come home with us.  So, we talked as best we could in the car about her 'ouchie' heart and then we were on to something else, probably deer or the bicyclists wearing their helmets, what "good boys" they are or something like that.

I have thought about this intercourse quite often since last December.  I have wondered how a child understands heaven and life after death.  The truth is they really can't.  They take our word for it.  She trusts me when I say that it is where Aimee went but she can't understand why we can't just go visit her there like we visit our friends and family.

That got me thinking... how much do we, as adults, understand heaven or life after death?  We can learn a lot about it from God's Word but do we really understand it?  Probably not.  It is part of faith.  Faith and hope that what God said is True.  Faith that we will live in eternity with Him if we accept His perfect sacrifice to cover our unrighteousness.  It reminds me that just as Lucy has complete faith in me that what I say is true, I am to have complete faith in God and what He speaks in my life (whether I like it or not).

This conversation also made me so thankful that Lucy got to meet her little sister.  It was a bit of a debate for awhile whether we should let Lucy see her or not.  Many people (doctors and some family) thought we should keep Lucy from meeting or seeing Aimee but all along I had a very strong feeling that I wanted Lucy to meet her sister, whether stillborn or not, I wanted her to understand that the big belly I had for so many months was, in fact, her little sister. I didn't ever want to be asked, "why didn't I get to see Aimee?"  And this was one of those conversations that makes me thankful I stuck by my resolve to let her see her.  She remembers her.  She still, 7 months later, asks to see pictures of her on occasion.  And while looking at her pictures will tell me about her cute little fingers and lips and dirty dirty hair.   Just a few weeks ago she brought home a pine cone that she had found and told her Aunt Kathryn she wanted to paint for Baby Aimee.   It blesses my heart and makes me smile to know that she remembers and thinks about her.

I just had to add one of these.  Lucy's goodnight routine with Aimee.  Hugs and kisses, she insisted on my bare belly.  Little did we know that this was going to be the last night for this routine.  Aimee was born at 10AM the next morning!